Life lessons from the lowly honey badger.

As wild animals go, the honey badger isn’t much of a looker. Squat, vaguely skunk-like, with none of the panache of Badger from my childhood favourite The Wind In The Willows. And yet, by all accounts this little rascal is a bonafide badass. A few years ago, a hilarious video surfaced on YouTube arguing that the “crazy, nastyass” honey badger is quite possibly the fiercest animal on earth.

Tangle with a king cobra? No problem. Fight a lion? Why not. Plunder the larva and honey from a nest full of bees while being stung hundreds of times? Big whoop. Mix it up with jackals? Bring it. 70,000,000 views later, it’s still hard to watch it without pissing yourself laughing.

But behind the humour, there’s an important life lesson: The undeniable power of resilience. Like the narrator says in the video, “honey badger don’t give a shit.” And we can learn from that. Because to be successful in life (heck, to survive in life) it often pays to ignore all the rules, naysayers, facts and odds stacked against you. For example:

Steven Spielberg  When Jaws went into production, the director (then just 26) was told by the studio suits that it would be impossible to shoot on the open ocean. At the time, sea adventures were filmed in giant tanks in Hollywood (a practice that continues today–The Perfect Storm and At Sea were shot this way). But he insisted that it wouldn’t be credible.

Worse, the script wasn’t even finished when they started shooting and the mechanical shark kept malfunctioning. But ironically, these setbacks (and his own inexperience) worked in young Spielberg’s favour, because they allowed him to shape the story as he went along. The results speak for themselves: One of the first blockbusters, and one of the best monster films of all time.

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Curtis Mayfield  In the mid-90s, the legendary soul singer and guitarist (“Superfly”) was paralyzed from the neck down when a lighting rig crushed him as a tornado struck his outdoor concert in Atlanta. He could’ve easily given up. Instead, he poured every ounce of energy he had into recording New World Order, one of the best records in his long and acclaimed career.

The sessions were exhausting. They had to lay Mayfield’s fractured body on the floor of the studio to fill his lungs with enough air to painstakingly sing each verse, one line at a time. The results, however, are stunning–a beautiful, soulful, life affirming album.

Emma Sulkowicz  When Columbia University didn’t take action against her rapist (a fellow student) this courageous young woman created “Carry That Weight,” a blend of protest, performance art and senior thesis rolled into one. As she explains in this video, Emma carries the 50-pound mattress she was raped on with her wherever she goes on campus, as a visceral reminder of the school’s failure to deal with sexual assaults. Just try looking away.

Emma Sulkowicz 'Carry That Weight" project.

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George Lucas  Hard to believe, but every major studio in Hollywood turned down Star Wars. And when Lucas showed a rough cut to his best film school pals (Spielberg and Marty Scorsese) they told him it was a guaranteed failure. After all, he had inserted clips of old black and white World War II combat films for Star Wars’ epic aerial dogfights as placeholders until Industrial Light and Magic could finish the pioneering special effects. We all know how that one turned out.

In their infinite wisdom, the all-knowing suits also passed on the toy rights, claiming that no one would want souvenirs from a failed film (see a pattern here?). The franchise and those toy rights made Lucas a billionaire, and he’s been laughing all the way to the bank ever since.

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The Beatles  Every major record label in London passed on the band, thinking they were nothing special, until EMI took a chance on them. The label paired the lads with genius producer George Martin and together, they went on to change music forever. And Sir Paul stayed with EMI for 45 years.

Jim Carrey  Rumour has it that when the fledgling comedian moved to L.A., he carried a check made out to himself in the amount of ten million dollars. He kept it in his pocket for years until the day he was finally a big enough star to be able to actually cash it. In the words of Ted darling Amy Cuddy, “fake it ’til you make it.”

Nelson Mandela  Mandela was imprisoned for three decades by South Africa’s racist Apartheid regime, but he never lost faith in himself, or in the cause. The time in jail only strengthened his resolve. Once released, he became the leader of his nation and one of the most admired politicians ever (‘admired politicians,’ how’s that for an oxymoron?). In his brilliant words, “It’s always impossible until it’s done.”

Nelson Mandela early life

The irrepressible Nelson Mandela.

Arnold Schwarzenegger  When the champion bodybuilder showed up in Hollywood and proclaimed in his thick Austrian accent: “I vant to be a moooveee stah” the studios scoffed. They told him to come back after he had changed his ridiculous name, fixed the ugly gap in his teeth and learned to speak proper English. A decade later, he was one of the biggest stars on the planet. And went on to become the governator of Caleeforneeah, one of the largest economies in the world.

Arnold Schwarzenegger young

Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator 2.

Mothers everywhere  My dad used to say that if men had to give birth the human race would’ve died out long ago. True. Between the pain, the lack of sleep, the toll on your body and your psyche, there is surely no tougher job on the planet. And then try re-entering the job market and re-inventing yourself as you’re suffering the indignities of going through the change. Mothers (and women) in many parts of the world have it even worse, being subject to oppression. They are the real unsung heroes in our midst.

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Keith Richards  Keef is a human cockroach (and I mean that in a good way). Drug busts, overdoses, falls from trees, the changing musical tastes of the public, nothing can keep him down. He keeps going and going and going, like the Energizer bunny, in part, because he’s one tough son of a bitch but also because he still believes so strongly in himself, and in his band.

Keith Richards young

Keith Richards now

No doubt you have your own examples. For me, each of these is a vivid reminder of one of the best life axioms out there:

The trouble with rules is, they rule out brilliant exceptions.

So when life kicks you down (and more often than not, it will–over and over and over and over and over again) channel your inner honey badger and do what that irrepressible little badass would do:

Carry on. And don’t give a #$%&.

Finding the silence between the notes.

We live in a time of unprecedented connectedness, tethered 24/7/365 to work, family, friends, news, and all manner of interests and stressors, whether we want to be or not. The economy? Crisis in the Middle East? The latest school shooting? Check. A work headache masquerading as an ‘opportunity’? You’re up. Family stress? Relationship troubles? Celebrity scandal or wedding du jour? Try hiding from ’em.

Scientists worry that our brains are being asked to take in more information than ever before. Maybe even more than we, as humans, were ever wired to. After all, if a big part of the journey of life is to figure out what it all means, it’s hard to do when we can’t stop and process it all. It’s never been harder to find the silence between the nonstop flurry of notes. Hence, a few suggestions:

Be a loner  No, don’t drive cross-country and start chopping hitchhikers into little bits. Take a walk. Do yoga. Go for a run, a swim, a ride. A hike, a drive, a paddle. Visit the library, sit in a café, read on a park bench. Dine for one. Dare to be alone with your thoughts. It won’t always be pleasant, but every now and then you are your own best companion.

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Take a proper lunch  Most days, I eat lunch at my desk. But it pales in comparison to the simple pleasures of breaking bread with a friend and having a real, unscripted conversation where you can’t filter, edit, and retouch everything that comes out of your mouth. In Europe and Latin America, it’s the norm. Here in the States, sadly, it’s often the exception. People enjoying themselves in the middle of the day? Sacrilege! 

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Meditate  One of the best ‘pause’ buttons out there. I took a class but haven’t even come close to mastering it yet. Hopefully I’ll get the hang of it before my frayed nerves give out.

Mindfulness  The kissing cousin of meditation. Be present. Listen to your kids or your significant other when they tell you about their day. Slow down enough to actually taste the food you’re eating. Just that little act of concentration will make your brain fire differently.

Digital detox  How often do you see couples or even a table full of folks (or families) out to dinner and no one’s talking because they’re all staring at their phones? Same in meetings. It’s the new crack. Tear yourself away from all those glowing screens. (See ‘be present’ above.) Sound impossible? Despite ambitious plans to break global sales records again this year, Volkswagen Germany banned after work email in an attempt to give employees an opportunity to recharge.

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Take a nap  Kids do it. Animals do it. Latin America does it. New research shows that napping lets your brain grow new cells. My advice: 10 to 15 minutes, max. If you’re a coffee person, drink an espresso, put your head down, and when the coffee kicks in, you’ll wake up good to go. Don’t knock it ’til you try it.

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Go on vacation  Sounds simple enough. Yet a story in Forbes notes that most Americans left 9 days of vacation time on the table in 2012. What’s the untold cost in terms of stress and lost productivity? We may never know. But many countries require their citizens to take vacation. Smart employers do the same.

Say nothing  Why do we feel compelled to fill every second of air like so many of the annoying commercials on TV? Some of the most interesting conversations are the ones with awkward pauses and stumbles. Right      now,       we       need       more       white       space.

If the notion of ‘pausing’ strikes you as old fashioned, dear reader, I stand before you, guilty as charged. Drag me out to the gallows and and string me up by the threads of one of my Paul Smith jackets. Flog me with the cables of my retro audio system. Drown me in a vat of my favourite biodynamic Barolo. There are worse ways to go, and at least my mind will be clear when I do.

Thinking young and growing older.

Seeing the frozen faces of aging stars on the Oscars this month (oh, Goldie) got me thinking: We’re just not always allowed to age gracefully. We spend billions in a vain attempt to stave off the effects of time. Worse, it seems we don’t always value the elderly in our society the way they do in most of the world.

As a child, I was keenly aware of how lucky I was to have my grandparents. Living overseas, we only saw them once a year (on home leave), but I still wrote them long letters weekly, a ritual I stuck to even through the hazy days of college. For me, it was a way to nurture a relationship that mattered (the young learning from the old and vice versa). Now that my parents are the Nonni and Nonno in our house, it’s the same with our boys. This appreciation for old folks is also on full display in Europe.

One Sunday last October, on one of my wife’s intimate curated trips to Italy, we found ourselves in the tiny village of Scanno, high in the mountains above Sulmona in earthquake ravaged L’Aquila. The village is called the “Pearl of Abruzzo” for good reason. It’s incredibly picturesque, and for extra eye candy, you have to drive through the clouds to get to it. But more than the old buildings and weathered surroundings, what impressed most were the old people of this little hamlet.

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On this drizzly afternoon, they were hard to miss: A face peeking out from hanging laundry. A beaming shop proprietor. A woman walking with her grandchild. A smartly dressed man out for a stroll. An old woman navigating the narrow, wet streets with a cane. A man pausing to read a plaque in a tiny square. A tough faced woman walking with purpose. An old lady doing her shopping.

The final picture is of three little girls on that same afternoon. I include it because with luck, one day they too will grow old. With wrinkles, laugh lines, a wealth of life experience and rich stories to tell. But I suspect they might be more comfortable with this inevitable life transition that most of us.

Perhaps because they will still live with relatives close by and take family dinners together several times a week, as is the Mediterranean custom. Perhaps because they’ll still be active, not sedentary, not glued to the couch gazing at the “idiot box.”

Or perhaps, as Nils Lofgren sang in his brilliant cover of Carole King’s Going Back, they will have learned that “Thinking young and growing older ain’t no sin. I can play the game of life to win.”

Note: I took these pictures on a beat up iPhone 4S, threw a quick filter on ’em, and shared ’em on Instagram. I think their subjects still have plenty to say.

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The Surefire Sick Bed Film Festival.

It happens. You run yourself ragged, and in that weakened state, you succumb to whatever vile bug is circulating at work or on your last few flights. Before you know it, your body is pleading No más! No más!” like Roberto Duran in his humiliating defeat at the hands of Sugar Ray Leonard.

The first thing you learn when you’re home sick is just how much it sucks to be home sick. Social media is no help. You’ll either feel guilty for not being at work or pissed that life is passing you by. When you’re this beat, even reading is too much trouble.

Enter the The Surefire Sick Bed Film Festival. Now, no two people have the same taste, obviously, but the general gist is the same: Mix some classics, a few thrillers, a dash of romance, pepper in good documentaries and a helping of comedies, and you can’t go wrong. For example:

A Fish Called Wanda  If I’m going to be laid up with a mystery virus kicking my bony ass, I want to keep some of this fare light. John Cleese, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin and Jamie Lee Curtis make magic in this delightful romantic comedy (also written by Cleese). Kline is unforgettable as a thief torturing Michael Palin over his beloved fish.

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The Swimming Pool  (1969) It starts out innocently enough. The beautiful Romy Schneider and Alain Delon are lovers relaxing poolside at a villa in St. Tropez in this moody French flick. But when her ex shows up with his nubile teenage daughter (hottie Jane Birkin) big trouble ensues.

The Swimming Pool

The Guard  The formula’s familiar: Fish-out-of-water cop (Don Cheedle in rural Ireland) needs help solving a mystery, and finds it in fat, boozy, whoring local cop (the brilliant Brendan Gleeson). The two have great chemistry, but ultimately, it’s Gleeson’s humanity that helps The Guard rise above most buddy movie fare. He also shines in the excellent gangster drama In Bruges.

Cheadle and Gleeson The Guard

A bit of Hitchcock  They just don’t make ’em like this anymore. Two faves are North By Northwest and To Catch A Thief, both starring Cary Grant. In the former, Grant and Eva Marie Saint are stellar. And the colour of the print (all Mad Men tones and all) is as good a test as any for a home theater’s picture. Thief, while one of the Master’s fluffier offerings, is still stylish classic and a reminder of just how stunning Grace Kelly was in her day.

North by Northwest

To Catch A Thief

Bill Cunningham, New York  For documentaries, I tend to gravitate to stories of passionate souls plying their craft against all odds. This one is a poignant portrait of the New York Times photographer who for decades has chronicled the fashions of the moment. We should all be this vital in our 80s. I had a moist eye at the end — I only wish he had found a lifelong companion.

Bill Cunningham New York

Anything by Miyazaki  When I’m in the mood for animation, I do what the mega talents at Pixar do: Reach for anything by Hayao Miyazaki’s Studio Ghibli. The storylines are very strong, and the animation is just as good as it gets. Princess Mononoke, an environmental cautionary tale with a fierce female heroine, is one of my favourites. Also recommended: Porco Rosso or Spirited Away.

Princess Mononoke

Headhunters  This very well made Norwegian thriller takes a few liberties with logic, but it’s such an exciting, well acted ride that you’ll forgive the transgressions. Game of Thrones’ Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is one bad, bad guy. Violence, tension, plus lots of clever twists.

Headhunters 2

Jiro Dreams of Sushi  85-year old Jiro (bearing an uncanny resemblance to the Grinch) is one of the best sushi chefs in the world, consistently wowing critics in his modest restaurant underneath Tokyo’s subway station. It’s his work that keeps him alive, yet you feel for his two sons, endlessly waiting in the wings for the old man to step aside. One of the best food docs ever.

Jiro

Tell No One  Being a guy, I’m a sucker for a good thriller and this French white knuckler will have you on the edge of your seat, er, bed. François Cluzet (The Intouchables) stars as an innocent man suspected of killing his wife. It’s fast, intense, and features some great chase scenes. No doubt Hollywood will bungle the inevitable remake.

Sound City  As a music nut and audiophile, I just loved Sound City, Dave Grohl’s love letter to analogue and the seminal L.A. studio where countless groundbreaking albums were recorded on the Neve console. Great stuff. Others in this vein: Muscle Shoals and 20 Feet from Stardom.

Dave Grohl Sound City

Richard Pryor  Chris Rock, Louis C.K., Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle and countless others owe a huge debt to Richard Pryor. Watching any of his concert films, it’s easy to see why. Like most comics, he was an astute observer of the human condition, but his humour also comes from a very dark place. It cuts to the bone, it resonates, and most importantly, it cracks you up. Just what the doctor ordered.

Richard Pryor Live in Concert

You get the idea. Of course, since we seem to be enjoying another golden age of television, you may be tempted to substitute a marathon of your favourite shows, but I prefer films.

It goes without saying that it would be better if you weren’t sick in the first place, but there are worse ways to try to slow down and recover than by making a big dent in your Netflix queue.

A little tea with honey and brandy, and you’re good to go.

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